Disappointment

I've been training for the Hospital Hill Half, a race I've never done but had always wanted to try.  It was scheduled for next Saturday.  I say "was" because while the race is still happening, it will not be happening for me.  My husband now has to go out of town for work, leaving Friday night and returning early Saturday afternoon.  Ironic, huh?  We have no family near us, and I challenge you to find a baby-sitter who is interested in coming over at 4:30 a.m.  Not going to happen, at least not with high school students who prefer to sleep in on Saturday mornings.

My disappointment may not be as critical as others in the running world - DNFs or injuries, for example - but for me, it is still an incredible disappointment.  While it would not have been my first half, I was truly looking forward to it.  There's a certain euphoria that you feel in training for a race, and there's even more excitement when it's a race you've never done before.  I enjoy the feeling I get when I go and pick up my bib and t-shirt.  In this case, it was even cooler because it was a 40th Anniversary track jacket (I know, right?)  I won't be picking it up because I'm of the belief that if you don't race the race, you don't deserve to wear the shirt.  Maybe someone else will need that jacket, and it will make them happy that one has suddenly become available. 

I won't lie and I won't sugar-coat it - I'm totally bummed out.  But I'm also of the firm belief that when God closes a door, he opens a window or two.  Case in point - I'll be able to help coach my daughter's t-ball game on Saturday morning.  We're doing The Color Run on Sunday morning and while it won't be my normal kind of race, we'll be doing it as a family and that makes it special.  I'm also adding some more races to my summer list, including a double road race (a 10K + a 5K in the same morning) which I've never done before but am definitely excited about.

So yes, while I am disappointed, it is fading.  I'm just not the kind of person who stays down for long.  It's not in my genetic make-up.  Disappointments are an inevitable part of life.  How we handle them defines who we are.